What Are You (what am i)?

Lying on a beach,
It’s warm,
No pressure.
You coldly ask:
“Why are you still here?”
(What’s this about?
I’m your boyfriend,
I’m on holidays with you…
…half-way around the world…
…you asked me here.)
“Because of how I feel about you.”

“When I asked you on this holiday I’d hoped you’d see we’re different people”
(Don’t insult me – I’ve known that since the start.)
“I already know that and don’t see it as a big deal.
I’d hoped to show you that I’ve got staying power.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I’m not going to run away at the first sign of trouble.”

You broke up with me.
I can’t believe it.
In China, on holidays…
…you broke up with me.
I’d done so much for you,
Given you everything I am,
Put so much into supporting you,
Loving you,
Caring for you.
You’d asked me why I was so patient with you…
…you treated me like shit…
…so I would break up with you…
…suggest an amicable split…
…remain friends…
…that was the plan?
There was no way out of this holiday from the very start.

You said there was no plan afterwards,
Changed your story,
But you hadn’t considered what you would do…
…if I didn’t lose my patience with you.
You asked me on holidays to break up.

If things aren’t right for you,
Do what’s hard,
Don’t use a holiday to teach me a lesson,
Use me as a free tour guide.
We’d had so much fun
Just a couple of days ago,
But things were easy from here –
No need for a manservant to sort out the practicalities.

What are you?
You selfish, arrogant, ungrateful, sociopathic thief?

You lying, insincere, ignorant, intolerant, brilliant, beautiful, wonderful singularity,
Crushing all light, all hope, all goodness, all men who enter.

I knew you were like this.
Why do I love you?
And miss you so much.


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